It’s amazing what music can do to a person.
Whether it’s making women of all ages fawn over a prepubescent, whiny Canadian boy or making someone think their middle-class, suburban life is really akin to a hard-knock life in the projects, it’s no question that given the right arrangement of lyrics and music, people tend to react in some drastic ways.
Take metal, for instance. The combination of crushing guitars, wailing vocals, and a penchant for all things “heavy” can transform anyone from a angsty teen to a Wall Street banker into a devil horns throwing, leather wearing, fist-pumping maniac hellbent on one thing.
To the uninitiated, mosh pits are something to be avoided at all costs. A place where injury is certain and only the reckless dare venture into. For the metal maniacs that frequent these thrashing sweaty masses of hair, arms and badass-itude, the mosh is a place of kinship. A place where today’s frustrations can be tomorrow’s black-and-blue badges of honor.
Though it’s mosh pit rule number one to watch out for your fellow thrasher, we at Pixelitis know it doesn’t hurt to have a friendly face or some downright muscle to wade through the teeming metal hordes. That’s why this week, we’ve gathered some of the most mosh pit ready badasses in games today after the break.
So throw up the horns, jump in the pit and for Satan’s sake, leave your karate kicks in the dojo, Ralph Macchio.
Character: Eddie Riggs (Brütal Legend)
Honestly I feel kind of weird about this one because it’s almost too easy. How quickly the name came to mind, how the style of the title itself is based in metal, how one of Eddie’s combo attacks is actually to form a mosh pit. But at the same time, someone had to mention him and I guess I’ll just have to be that guy.
If I’m headed to OzzFest and I’m looking for the guy to make sure I don’t get kicked in the head or at least punch the guy in the face who kicked me in the head, I’m calling Eddie. I mean he was friends with Ozzy and Lemmy so he’s definitely got the street cred for it. And if his natural melee abilities isn’t enough to bang some bodies in the pit, turning into a half demon that can fly should do the trick.
I mean honestly, what more could I ask for in a mosh pit companion? Plus imagining Jack Black singing Tribute as Eddie Riggs just gets my metal juju all a flowing. Makes my mighty, face melting ax tingle. If you know what I’m saying. Decapitation!!
- Matt Brown
Character: Adam Jensen (Deus Ex: Human Revolution)
Having been to more concerts than I can count on my fingers, I’ve had plenty of experience with mosh pits. While I usually don’t really participate in them, I tend to get annoyed only when it gets so pushy and hectic that it disrupts my concentration on the band. Being a musician, I like to keep my eyes glued on all of the performers.
So who better to have as a fellow concert-goer than the gravelly-voiced, mechanically-augmented Adam Jensen? He may be a cynical loner, but when the craziness of a mosh pit unfolds, he’d be the guy to have when things get too dicey.
Those who’ve played through Deus Ex: Human Revolution will know that Jensen is a master of crowd-control. Not only does he have a non-lethal P.E.P.S. gun to push away the more heedless of moshers, he also knows the most effective and stylish ways of knocking someone senseless should they decide to get out of line.
And if things get way too rowdy or violent, he’s got a solution for that: two heads clonked together. Let’s just make sure he keeps those sharp metal elbow blades of his tucked in. No need for him to take “Raining Blood” literally.
- Patrick Kulikowski
Character: Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal)
Like Pat, I have also been to a ton of metal shows in my time, though I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in the pit. I’ve seen the madness. I’ve pushed and jumped and fallen with the best of them. And you know what? There’s always a Sweet Tooth in the mix.
By that I don’t mean that there’s an axe murderer with his head on fire cutting down people left and right. I’m saying that without fail, there’s always some massive dude in the pit with baggy clothes, throwing his weight around for everyone around him to deal with. He’s sweaty, he’s reckless and you’re just going to have to get out of the way.
Now take a look at Needles Kane, a.k.a. Sweet Tooth. The clown accouterments belong at a Slipknot concert. The bondage-looking getup on top looks like it could be part of a Rammstein gig. He’s already dressed for the pit (in some circles).
Couple that with the fact that the Twisted Metal series has featured Rob Zombie, Sepultura and Judas Priest in its soundtracks and you just know the mass murdering clown has heavy metal coursing through his black, twisted heart.
As an unadulterated force of chaos, he’d fit right in at a metal show. And not a single soul would test him in the pit.
- Andrew Martins
Character: Big Daddy (Bioshock)
From Rumblers to Rosies, Big Daddies are perfectly designed to take on a mosh pit. If you think about it, their daily tasks include following after a creepy little girl until a mosh pit of bee swarms, flaming hands, and attack robots ambushes them.
Heck, just take a look at their hands, which range from drills to guns of devastating power. You try to look a Big Daddy in the eyes and attempt to shove him through the mosh wall; he will personally make the entire stadium his own personal mosh pit if you do.
What do you get with a little added music and the lack of an accompanying Little Sister? A Big Daddy that’s ready to party and take down any belligerent drunk concert goer all-the-while enjoying that fantastic guitar solo in Metallica’s “Battery.”
- Jamie Young
Character: Bubbles (Clu Clu Land)
At first glance, my character seems completely inappropriate for the typical mosh pit setting. However, bear with me for just a moment.
Bubbles constantly travels at high speeds, using only her arms as leverage in maneuvering her weight around the arena. She grabs onto poles and swings around them, deftly moving among a cluster of hostile enemies and gold ingots. For those like me, who were introduced to mosh pits later in life, this would be the perfect way to get a bearing on my surroundings. I could dodge and weave my way through the crowds, following Bubbles closely, and when she spotted an overtly hostile concert-goer, she could stun them with a sound wave and push them harmlessly to the edge of the stage.
So while she may not be the most intimidating of partners in a mosh pit, her agility and tactical advantage would assure some amount of personal safety for me as I steadily increase my own moshing ability. Mostly because I can’t rely on a small, rotund, red ball forever.