After having health bars, special meters, air cancels, air combos and wave-dashing thrown in our faces for years, it’s time we counterattack by grilling on fighting games a little.
By the time you’re reading this, Divekick has already been unleashed on Steam, PS3 and Vita, and while it may be billed as a parody fighting game (or a straight razor according to Action Button), it does something new and fresh for those who tire of memorizing long-winded button combos and glossary terms: it keeps things simple. You dive and kick: that’s it (in addition to some little button quirks here and there).
With this fresh new way of playing a fighting game, we thought it best to
whine and complain discuss what is it about playing fighting games that can make our sanity meters go through the roof and unleash a devastating Shinkuu-Hadouken on our friends, family or foes.
Players who pretend to suck in the first match only to kick my ass in the next.
But after each successive loss you keep coming back for more, hoping that you’ll finally come across a player you can finally defeat. And so you’re suddenly pitted against someone who you completely demolish in the first round. “Finally!” you might exclaim, “I’m getting somewhere here!”
Round two kicks in. “FIGHT!” And just like that, all the built-up confidence you had up to this point withers away as your opponent runs train on you, unleashing furious combos and ridiculous stunts that you’ve never seen before. It’s clear that this player was just testing you in the first round, getting a feel for how you fight before really giving you a whallop while working around your patterns.
Feeling dejected, you don’t bother requesting a rematch. I think it’s around here where you’d turn the game off and play something else. Bravo, troll. May we never meet again.
- Patrick Kulikowski
Getting cornered with a special move you can’t block.
This goes out to my brother, who knows and shares the hatred of those dreaded special moves. Either that or I’m just a crap player that can’t block properly, but either way.
I bring us back to a time of Guilty Gear XX, where the hair reigns long and the scalpels reach far. I’m talking about the endless amounts of times my brother used special moves that I could barely block. He was playing as Faust and I picked my usual girl Jam Kuradoberi. OH DEAR GOD. Not only was I outmatched in the level of crazy, but his freakishly long scalpel did not allow my short jabs or kicks to come straight forward. Getting pushed into the corner is already a pain in the butt, but nothing makes it more excruciating than to have it come from special command moves. I’m talking about that backbend scalpel slice and dice, Faust.
Call me sensitive, call me what you will–but nothing infuriated me more in those moments than to not get a moment’s respite to jump out of the way and turn around to face the opponent. I guess you could say Jam isn’t evenly matched to Faust, but I spent a lot of time learning her moves to adapt to nearly any fighting style. But my brother probably enjoyed watching the steam come out my ears as I nearly rage quit after losing ten times. I also wanted to punch him, but I think I just walked out on the game.
It’s been a while since Guilty Gear XX, but I still haven’t forgotten.
- Karen Rivera
People that button mash their way to victory.
We all remember the moment when we finally convinced our friend/significant other/disinterested family member to pick up a controller and duke it out in our fighting game of choice. Without fail, thoughts of the impending beating your adversary is going to get flood your mind – it’s a comforting thought. After all, you’ve spent weeks learning that nasty 15 hit combo with your main character.
They don’t stand a chance.
Then, out of nowhere, the rank amateur sitting next to you starts doing some damage right out of the gate. Combos and special moves come at you at a blinding speed and it’s all too much to handle. Then you look over, only to see your player 2 randomly hitting buttons with no rhyme or reason.
Now, I’m not the most technically savvy fighting game player ever. After all, I prefer Mortal Kombat over Street Fighter, but I can sympathize with those that believe button mashing is enough to drive a fighting game enthusiast to drink.
To have a game you’ve spent so much time to perfect strategies and understand the game mechanics be reduced to random button inputs, it can be absolutely infuriating.
It takes no skill, which at least to me, is an affront to my love of the game. It would be like if a basketball player lackadaisically shooting three-pointers the whole game and that being what decided the final score. It lacks nuance. It lacks skill.
And it drives…me…CRAZY!