By Andrew Martins, July 6, 2014 0 News, Site news

The fireworks have all popped, the beer has all been drunk and the exclamations of “‘Merricaaaa!!!” have all been yelled emphatically. This year’s Independence Day has all but been finished, bringing with it a day of gunpowder and jingoism not seen since Bioshock Infinite.

Though the week of awesomeness and patriotism has come and gone, we’re still offering a week’s worth of stories and features.

Feel free to check out all we have to offer after the break . You know. For America!


Gotta catch ‘em all: Pokémon concert series revealed

Gears of War creator Cliffy B returns from retirement

CD Projekt RED announce The Witcher Battle Arena for mobile

[E3 ’14] Double Take: Sony’s Press Conference


Postcard Review: We Love Katamari

Why you should be pumped for the Grim Fandango remaster

[E3 ’14] Double Take: Super Smash Bros. for 3DS and Wii U

[E3 ’14] Double Take: Metal Gear Solid V

Pixelitis Picks: Celebrating ‘MURICAH

Re: Sequelitis – In Defense of Ocarina of Time


The Pixelitis Podcast Ep. 81 – Poop commander

By Stephen Hilger, July 3, 2014 0 Features, Staff Musings

(Editor’s Note: Stephen’s views are his own and do not reflect on Pixelitis as a whole, but we expect everyone to be kind and remember Wheaton’s Law.)

As most of the internet knows, the glorious Arin “Egoraptor” Hanson recently made a video comparing The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past to The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Of course, by doing so, he has inadvertently ignited many hideously malicious internet arguments.

But the video itself is definitely worth a watch. Hanson’s Zelda commentary is part of an ongoing series dubbed Sequelitis in which he analyses a game and its sequel to unearth exactly what went right and wrong. It’s a great series that’s a perfect mix of his established sense of humor and admirable intelligence. He’s really a great critic whose individual thoughts promote great discussion, which is one of the end goals of being a successful critic.

So there was no doubt in anyone’s mind (including Hanson’s) that a video where he lampoons Ocarina of Time would cause a great stir among nostalgic twenty-somethings and Zelda fans as a whole. OoT is commonly hailed as a masterpiece and is almost untouchable because of that.

And while I greatly enjoyed the video and agreed with him on many points, I thought I might try to compose a formal counterargument (much like the deformed character at the beginning of his video). Hanson certainly seems to invite debate, and I thought it might be worthwhile to explore some of the reasons why Ocarina of Time is so widely hailed as the best game of all time.

2_Leaving16_LargeAs I mentioned before, I did agree with Hanson on many points; namely, his adamant desire for OoT to mesh gameplay with the narrative and the environment. Being that videogames are a fairly new medium, we are still learning how one can uniquely tell a story through a game. While Ocarina of Time is commonly praised for its plot, it did come out during an era where cutscenes and text boxes were the established way of telling a story. We know now (thanks to games like Dark Souls and the Mass Effect series) that a game’s narrative is strengthened by the player’s organic role in it. A game that simply tells us we’re the hero is less effective than a game that allows the player to show they’re the hero through their own actions as the player.

I absolutely loved his idea about having a Goron character fight alongside you to give added incentive to save the endangered race. It reminds me of the last mission of Mass Effect 2 where all the characters you’ve grown to love are put in harm’s way. Messing up any step of the mission could result in the permanent death of a main character. It’s one of my most beloved memories of gaming and really immerses the player into thinking they’re actually fighting to save something.

The biggest points I disagreed with were his objective claims about player desires and what The Legend of Zelda is “all about.”

Hyrule_Castle_Town_MarketLet’s start with what the player wants from a game. Egoraptor repeatedly states how the player simply wants to slash and fight monsters. This is partially true (especially for a Zelda game) but it’s impossible to declare what exactly a player wants to do in any game. I know people who play Zelda specifically for the story. I know people who play Mass Effect only for the multiplayer. I know people who play Grand Theft Auto and see how long they can follow traffic rules without resorting to the typical violent chaos. It’s important for a game to recognize the player’s existence, but it’s counter-intuitive to pigeonhole a player into a mono-desired being.

So following that argument, I suppose OoT isn’t the kind of game for someone who likes immediate gratification. But personally, I like exploring. I like meeting characters. I spent a bunch of time exploring towns and talking to all the people there. Sure, it’s not the most involving dialogue, but each town is quirky and unique and makes the world seem more involved than it had been in past Zelda games.

OoT certainly restricts the play to follow the linear plot, but there’s still the option of riding your horse anywhere you please. Hunting poes, crafting the Biggoron sword and obtaining your horse are all sidequests that reward the player’s desire to deviate from the main quest.

My main point here is that the Zelda series has grown past its dungeon crawling roots. It’s difficult to pinpoint the series to one genre, but because of that, Zelda games have something for everybody.

This is not to say the evolution is good or bad, but despite sticking to a certain formula, Zelda has changed. Ultimately, whether one prefers Ocarina of Time over A Link to the Past is entirely subjective. Even though they’re from the same series, they’re completely different games. A Link to the Past was sort of a refinement of the original NES game, whereas OoT was an experimental step into the third dimension. In a sense, they’re both the quintessential Zelda games of their respective dimensions. To say one is better than the other is to simply prefer a different style of playing.

WW_artPersonally (and this may seem obvious), I prefer OoT’s style, but my favorite in the series is The Wind Waker. Unlike poor OoT, The Wind Waker‘s graphics have aged well, thanks to its unique art style. Like Majora’s MaskTwilight Princess and nearly every 3D Zelda that has followed OoT, The Wind Waker is built upon Ocarina‘s blue print. It’s my favorite because (like I said earlier) I enjoy exploring and meeting characters. I absolutely relished sailing and discovering islands, and to me, The Wind Waker had the most diverse and entertaining cast of characters. It was almost as if Pixar had crafted a Zelda game.

There’s a point in Hanson’s review where he compares the original Legend of Zelda with A Link to the Past. At the conclusion of his comparison, he says: “Is it better? Pfft, I dunno.” Well, that’s sort of how I feel with regards to OoT versus A Link To The Past. They both stand for different features of the Zelda series as a whole. ALTTP may mesh gameplay and exploration better, but OoT’s story pokes at some more interesting themes.

LegendofZeldaThe-OcarinaofTimeUV-40I’ll never forget how I felt when Link first grew up and returned to Kokiri Forest only to see it riddled with monsters. In this moment, OoT is showing players how their fictional childhood had been corrupted, and the game tasks them in saving it. Like Link, we feel awkward in this new body. We aren’t used to it. We can’t even use the same items. And because we grew to love our hometown as Link, we feel the need to save it. Seeing Link’s childhood friend Saria accept the responsibility of a sage afterward becomes a bittersweet moment, because in a sense it’s teaching us that there comes a time where we must let go of the past and accept new responsibilities.

The game’s childhood-era dungeons exist to induce more menace to the temples found in the Adult Link segments. Many of them show characters we’ve grown to love in peril, and it gives our adventure more meaning than simply finding new treasure. This kind of narrative power is something that the older Zelda games simply don’t have.

I’m not saying it’s the best story, but it was the first one to take the narrative in a different direction.  This effectively sets the stage for Majora’s Mask and The Wind Waker to take even more creative risks with the narrative, and I would argue that those two games have the most interesting plots in the series.

So really, my argument is that OoT shouldn’t really be compared to ALTTP because it all boils down to what one wants out of a Zelda game. As a Zelda fan, I think Hanson’s video is very important to watch, but I’m disturbed by the number of comments that either state: “you suck, OoT rules” or “wow, you’re right, OoT is so overrated.” It’s important to remember that nothing is perfect, and even masterpieces have their flaws. The “worst” Zelda games (excluding the CD-i abominations) are still some of the best games out there. Nostalgia isn’t the only reason we keep saving Hyrule.

And let’s be real here, what other game lets you keep a talking cow in your treehouse? Just further proving my point.

By Patrick Kulikowski, July 3, 2014 0 Double Take, Features

In Pixelitis’ Double Take, staff members chat after playing a demo build of an upcoming game and encourage discussion about it on your part.)

Next up from our E3 2014 archives is our video impressions of Sony’s E3 press conference, and their large focus on violence, Vib Ribbon cock-teasing and their constant no-showing of The Last Guardian.

By Pixelitis Staff, July 2, 2014 0 Features, Pixelitis Picks

It’s a great week to be an American.

Summer’s in full effect, fireworks and barbecues are just 48 hours away and now that we’ve lost in the World Cup, we can finally return to not caring about soccer – even if that loss stung a little bit…

In honor of our forefathers and the great country the Pixelitis staff calls home, we’ve put together a list of games that best exemplifies the ‘merican condition. From badassery to immigration, there’s plenty in our favorite pastime that just screams apple pie, monster trucks and giant explosions.

So if you’re proud to be an American or just watching our bombastic celebration from afar, hit the jump to gorge yourself on our picks like you’re at an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.

‘MURRICAHHHHH: Grand Theft Auto IV  takes a satirical look at the immigrant story.

niko_gta4If you think about it, the USA has been a land of immigrants clinging to the false notion that this country is theirs. Europeans sailed to the east coast and spread to the Appalachians, Russians came over to claim the Pacific Northwest and all the while, the indigenous population were left asking “WTF?!”

No better game in recent memory really hammers home the plight of the modern immigrant, albeit in a satirical and violent manner, than Rockstar Games’ Grand Theft Auto IV.

Much like many immigrants that came in search of a better life, the protagonist of GTA IV, Niko Bellic, arrives in Liberty City to get away from his dark past in what is presumably a war torn Eastern European country. Yet after hearing of the American dream his cousin Roman “beeg American teetees” Bellic has been living, Niko learns that the mansions, fast cars and loose women were nothing but a lie.

In reality, Rockstar’s facsimile of New York City and America in general paints a bleaker picture of poverty in minority populations, the hyper-ubiquity of sensationalist media and the hard life of the American immigrant.

It’s a story that millions of people lived in at least some small way: from the Anti-Irish sentiment that was prevalent in the 19th century to the Iraqi expats seeking asylum from their battered homeland.

And honestly, nothing says America like a national braggadocio that entices the less fortunate into a hard life of low wages, poor decisions and broken (American) dreams.

- Andrew Martins


‘MURRICAHHHHH: Metal Wolf Chaos is the quintessential U.S. President mech shooter.

metal_wolf_chaos_imageNothing screams “AMERICA!” like a fictional U.S. president bursting out of the White House in a giant-ass mech, hellbent on saving his country from a coup d’etat perpetrated by the villainous vice president.

Developed for the Xbox by From Software, long before they were known for the Souls series, Metal Wolf Chaos exclusively graced Japan with its absurd presence in 2004.

It’s a shame that North America never got it, as it was insanely over-the-top, featuring English voiceovers that would make for fine additions to Audio Atrocities. President Michael Wilson (descendant of U.S. president Woodrow Wilson) and his aide Jodie offer the most hilariously awkward dialogue since Shenmue.

Yeah, it’s a satire on George W. Bush’s presidency and the post-9/11 surge of patriotism that came about as a result, but to use that as the excuse for why it was never released here is pretty Un-American. After all, satire is protected under the First Amendment.

And all the hilarity of the game aside, it’s a damn fine third-person shooter, featuring just the right amount of mech customization, diverse locations and explosive combat that one would always want out of a game of this nature.

Hey Microsoft, how about an HD port or a full-on remake? Pretty please?

- Patrick Kulikowski


‘MURRICAHHHHH: Broforce is the most Bro-merican game.

broforce_logo_neotrailer_20131104_1569548262 I don’t know if any of these other picks can beat Chuck Norris with a shotgun blowing up an enemy base in Vietnam, followed by the gruesome murder of Satan himself. I’m pretty sure there’s anything more American than Rambo zip-lining down to raise an American flag then jumping from a cliff to the ladder of an attack helicopter. And I don’t think you can find me something more American than Bruce Willis in a mech with a jetpack in slow motion taking out an entire city of terrorists single-handedly.

If you believe otherwise, you’re fucking kidding yourselves, because Broforce is hands-down the most American game out there. And I know these Pixelitis Picks aren’t supposed to be competitions, but what’s more American than screaming at your friends and using colorful language to prove that you’re right? Nothing.

Except maybe Broforce.

See, Broforce was made with the express purpose of actually being the most American game ever made. Maybe it aims to do so in the most satirical and over-the-top way possible, but there’s no doubt in my mind that even in Steam Early Access the game achieves its goal on every level imaginable. The fact that I can at one second be strapping dynamite to a turkey as MacGyver to release a flamethrower-toting Mr. T from a Vietnamese prison is nothing if not borderline nationalistic propaganda.

I really feel like the game speaks for itself, so I’ll just leave you with this trailer.

Bigley, out.

- Brendon “The Liberator” Bigley


‘MURRICAHHHHH: Bioshock Infinite takes patriotism to a Bradburian extreme

BioShock-Infinite-motorized-patriotThe Bioshock series is very skilled at making nightmarish settings based on extreme ideals. In Infinite, the player finds themselves in the airborne city of Columbia: a xenophobic “paradise” patrolled by robotic, mini-gun wielding George Washingtons.

The first Bioshock game chose to apply their satirical lens on the philosophy of Ayn Rand and extreme libertarianism. In Infinite, the satire is more timely. We experience the horrors that can follow American jingoism, misguided organized religion and the unquestioned worship of political leaders.

Perhaps Infinite‘s themes would’ve stung even harder during the Bush years where the term neo-conservative was born. Unfortunately, the city of Columbia is still a nightmare that parallels (and exaggerates) many problems in our own country.

While our real country is considerably more open-minded (and less racist) than Infinite‘s fictional city, sometimes it takes a work of fiction to allow groups of people a moment of self-reflection.

There is nothing wrong with patriotism, but to over romanticize one’s nation to the point of divinity is a dangerous path. Enjoy your 4th, but let’s make sure, as a country, we never make mech-warrior presidents.

- Stephen Hilger

By Patrick Kulikowski, July 2, 2014 0 Double Take, Features

(In Pixelitis’ Double Take, staff members chat after playing a demo build of an upcoming game and encourage discussion about it on your part.)

Next up from our E3 2014 archives is our video impressions of the hands-off preview for Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, which was shown off behind closed doors at Konami’s booth.

By Mercer Smith-Looper, July 1, 2014 0 Android, iOS, News

Today CD Projekt RED announced The Witcher Battle Arena, a mobile MOBA game that is being used as an extension of the popular Witcher series.

According to Tadek Zieliński, a creative analyst for the studio, the game will not be built on a microtransactional platform like many other MOBA and mobile games traditionally are. All privileges and content will be earned and unlocked through in-game play:

“In a world full of enter-your-PIN-number-to-win mechanics, what we value above all is well-balanced and honest gameplay. Battle Arena is all about skill and dedication, and we’ve spent hundreds of hours planning to make it a paragon of fairness in mobile gaming.”

The Witcher Battle Arena will be based on six “heroes” fighting to protect three central command stations, similar to the mechanics of games such as League of Legends or DotA. What differentiates this game from others of the genre is the inclusion of popular characters from The Witcher series.

The three characters mentioned in the release were: Letho of Gulet, the Kingslayer;  mohawked dwarf Zoltan Chivay and sorceress cum advisor Philippa Eilhart.

The game is scheduled for release Q4 2014 on iOS, Android, Windows phones and tablets, with downloadable content and updates to be released after some point. It will be being developed by CD Projekt Red in tandem with Fuero Games.

By Pixelitis Staff, July 1, 2014 0 Double Take, Features

(In Pixelitis’ Double Take, staff members chat after playing a demo build of an upcoming game and encourage discussion about it on your part.)

In the next day or two we’ll be finally releasing some videos from our E3 2014 archives, starting with video impressions of Super Smash Bros. for 3DS and Super Smash Bros. for Wii U by Managing Editor Karen Rivera and Associate Editor Patrick Kulikowski.

By Andrew Martins, July 1, 2014 0 Podcast

Sometimes you just have to reach deep down inside yourself and strain to become the best commander in the Citadel.

At least, that’s what Patrick Kulikowski and Andrew Martins should have told Karen Rivera in this week’s Pixelitis Podcast when she revealed that she was starting the Mass Effect trilogy from the beginning for the first time.

In this week’s show, the original cast is back to discuss the latest in gaming news (within the last seven days, that is) while trying to keep tangents at least somewhat relevant in the process.

As always, feel free to hit play below. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe to us on iTunes and Stitcher Radio.

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Intro: “Diamond” by Monomirror, from Brave Wave’s “In Flux”
Break: “Pokemon Stadium GS” composed by Hirokazu Ando, Tadashi Ikegami, Shogo Sakai, Takuto Kitsuta, from the Super Smash Bros. Melee Original Soundtrack
Outro: “Flying Machine” remixed by Manami Matsumae, from “Strike the Earth! Shovel Knight Arranged.” Originally composed by Jake “virt” Kaufman.

By Andrew Martins, June 30, 2014 0 Industry, News

He may not go by his grossly shortened moniker, but Gears of War creator and the top Super Mario Bros. player of July/August 1998, Cliff Bleszinski announced earlier today that he was leaving the luxurious lap of retirement at the age of 39 to return to game development.

As he’s been wont to do, Bleszinski made his announcement via Twitter, letting his more than 232,000 followers that he was returning to the business he “literally grew up in.”

For those that may not recall, Bleszinski stepped down as Epic Games’ design director back in Oct. 2012. At the time, he cited a need for some rest and relaxation after two decades of working in the industry.

Following his announcement, Bleszinski tweeted that the reception has been generally positive, stating that he could not wait to explain what brought him back.

More news on Bleszinski’s return and his mystery announcement is sure to come in the days ahead.

By Mercer Smith-Looper, June 30, 2014 0 Gaming culture, News

An orchestral concert tour celebrating the iconic music of the Pokémon series could soon be making its way to a city near you, as the Pokémon Company and Princeton Entertainment announced the first two stops of Pokémon: Symphonic Evolutions.

The show, which will feature orchestral arrangements from all of the canonical Pokémon games from Red, Blue and Yellow for the Game Boy Color to X and Y for the 3DS, will debut at the Warner Theater in Washington D.C. on Aug. 15.

Pokémon: Symphonic Evolutions is going to be a spectacular showcase of the memorable music that has been a hallmark of the Pokémon franchise for nearly 20 years,” J.C. Smith, the director of Consumer Marketing for the Pokémon Company said. “The concert series serves as a thank-you to fans and an invitation to share our passion for Pokémon by reliving some of our fondest memories. We’re looking forward to seeing fans of all ages meeting up and enjoying this very special Pokémon orchestral event together.”

During the same weekend the show is slated to kick off, the 2014 Pokémon World Championship will also be taking place at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center.

For those not in the immediate Washington D.C. area, a followup performance will be held at Philadelphia’s Mann Center for the Performing Arts on Sept. 19.

Additional dates for performances are not yet announced but will be kept up to date on the event’s website.